Thursday, August 5, 2010

Does Love Hurt?



My short answer is Love Cannot Hurt.

When one loves someone, one creates happiness for the one being loved.

When one is in a relationship and stops loving it follows also that happiness is not created anymore. So it hurts. It hurts because Love is not there anymore.

One person already stops loving.

When two people *create" a relationship, there is affinity in love there, there is understanding and love is reciprocated.

The absence of understanding makes it hurt.

It's like when you ask someone or talk to someone and you don't get an answer or a reply, a space is created.  In the relationship this space becomes bigger and bigger and separates a relationship, till one cannot occupy the same space with the same person any longer. and one just leave and go on to ask someone else so that one's question get an answer, and one don't get a big hurt by this.

In a relationship there is a couple of sticky elements:  commitment & responsibility.  This is what makes it hurt.  Because this two elements get in the way when two people cannot come into agreement.

Disagreement is basically the result of not understanding in common terms of what commitment is and what responsibility is. there must be a common understanding of what these are before two can agree.

It is simple but it is not easy.

What makes it difficult?  This word assume "ass-u-me".

Two people have wonderful feelings towards each other and so "assume" (in the back of there minds, unconsciously, automatically, based on past experiences) that each of there ideas of commitment & responsibility is understood except that the question of "do we really have the same understanding?" is not really answered matter-of-fact yet, so an answer is "assumed".

It does seem harmless but when two people just assume, there actions will speak louder and soon enough they will see their differences in their understanding about "commitment & responsibility" louder.  And soon find themselves making an "ass of each other" -- ass of u and me -- ass-u-me.

Love cannot hurt.  When one is in a relationship and got hurt.  Perhaps, it was not love at all.  It was something else.

But on the other hand, love has become a meaningless word.  Meaningless in a sense that not everyone know what love really is.

Language today has evolved so fast especially the english language.  It is successfully exported to a number of countries and also picks up words from these countries.  Not only that, from which it originates, the meaning, the usage, the context, also evolved and continues to evolve.  And in any language it could mean a lot of different things.

That when we ask what love is, we would get different answers, and some of these answers would conflict accross different groups, age, gender, race, creed, and the like.

I love your picture, I love ice cream, I love you--whatever that means.

Meaningless in a sense that even though we know what love means our actions doesn't show what love really is.  Because love is now camouflage.

I love you, too.

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