Cover of Making LoveThat relationship started by a thought which defines how the relationship is going to be. That thought is defined by our wants, desires, likes and the likes... and been tainted with bad experiences firsthand, secondhand and thirdhand. That influenced our judgments, conclusions, considerations and decisions about how our relationship is going to be.
My definition of Firsthand, Secondhand and Thirdhand:
Firsthand experiences are what we went thru in life personally, that involves us directly. Secondhand is what we learned, felt and influenced thru our friends and neighbors and relatives, that we draw our own decisions, judgments, considerations and conclusions from for lack of a better one. Thirdhand is what we come to agree on what we see from all media surrounding us--TV, Internet, Radio, Magazines, The Papers, including this article without doing much computation whether this is in fact truthful or not.
That first thought however is pure--meaning--all the perfect ideals that we want it to be. Untainted. But we come to this world by a relationship between a man and a woman, without which it would be impossible. This two people have formed an agreement (whether this is verbal, public, whatever, but the fact is, there is an agreement (consensus), otherwise they could not have been in a relationship) This agreement, however, is based on their judgments, conclusions, considerations and decisions. And this could be tainted. (I'm not saying it is right or wrong, because right or wrong is relative to what we agree.)
So we evolved because what we agree and accept evolves and become the norm of society. And the majority leads and dictates. It is not uncommon to see fragments of society today. For example, we now have four genders; people who are politically neutral; and many more.
The experience of one so expressed in any discussion may well represent a fraction of a segment in our society--meaning--there are a few people if not several who shares and agree with the same experience because they can relate to such experience. Man or woman their agreement to one's experience equates to their own reality. And so, thru this the experience is confirmed and will be recreated again, not necessarily by the same person but other people perceiving this experience and somehow triggers a desire, a want to experience the same, so the thought sparks, if it catches fire it will soon happen.
Given that, our definition of a relationship determines the outcome. Because the definition is the sum total of what we desire, want, believe, judge, conclude, consider and decide.
Therefore, if we can examine our desires, wants, beliefs, judgments, conclusions, considerations and decisions about relationships, we will become aware of what is ideal and we would always calculate to choose what is ideal. Because man and woman are basically good and will always do good for the betterment of the relationship.
By examination, we can weed out what is not ideal and we hold on to what is ideal and pure.
May our relationships be what we truly want and build conciously. Cheers!
Thank you for indulging me.
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